How to plan the perfect extended date!
When it comes to dates, the extended date is the pinnacle of experiences.
In this blog entry let me guide you through planning the perfect extended play date and just why they are the type of booking you should try atleast once.
An extended date to me is anything from four hours through to fly me to you (FMTY) / train me to you (TMTY). The variety is the key as to why they are something to be savoured and so utterly memorable. As with any kind of relationship be it personal or professional, time is what makes them grow into something remarkable. When you meet someone there is always the instant spark, that buzz of something new and fresh just beginning to bloom. So of course you want to nurture it, water it, let it have it’s time in the sun to grow and evolve. That’s the same for dates. Now don’t get me wrong, there is a certain thrill to the shorter encounter. That time capsule of electricity that exists just for us during that brief moment of time. It’s memorable in its way thanks to the instant dopamine hit that floods our brains and lingers afterwards. Almost edible in how it tastes on your tongue.
So what makes the extended date so special? To me it all comes down to the human connection. Being able to let the experience breathe, let it journey through discovery. If there is one thing you should know about me it is that I adore learning. Learning new things, experiencing things for the first time but most importantly I love learning new people. I have this insatiable urge to understand everyone’s idiosyncrasies, what do you love, what are your passions, where is your favourite place and can you show me, do you have any hobbies or interests and please tell me all about them. For me that discovery of who someone is, what makes them, them. It is my greatest joy. To celebrate every person I meet in a way that shows them that who they are is utterly perfect to me. That is what I love to do and you can only really do that with an extended amount of time.
I myself am a classic oversharer, maybe it’s my ADHD or maybe it’s just that I long to connect with everyone I meet. Even if we never meet again, I want to know them and want them to know me, intimately.
Planning an extended date can be daunting, surely the thought of well we can’t shag for a whole day straight crosses the mind. There will of course be plenty of naked antics, but served up in delicious morsels interspersed between.. well.. whatever you like! Personally I always find dinner has to be included, we both need to eat to keep up with all the calories we will burn through but it’s also a great way to bond. There’s a reason dinner parties have never died out, they are where we come together, laugh, joke and talk building that mental connection that is so important. Whether it’s a let’s stay inside all day and night date or a let’s go out together date, an activity is important. This is where the date becomes very tailored, it truly could be anything. I’ve had extended dates where we played board games and watched movies together and i’ve had dates where we went out to the theatre or sight seeing in foreign lands. For me this is where I get to discover more about you, what is it that to you makes a date a great one. I am always down for new things so don’t be afraid of the obscure or letting me catch a glimpse into something that you enjoy. The great thing about this is the more you do together, the stronger the connection and this then bleeds into the sexual aspect. Do you not find that sex with someone you are mentally engaged with stands out? There is a level of sexual enjoyment that is stimulated by that mental connection. And that mental connection is stimulated by conversation, touch and that word again…. time.
When you are ready to make that enquiry make sure you think about the length of time and how best to use it. You don’t want to overload it with a lot going on unless your planning a FMTY/TMTY. For instance when planning an overnight or 24 hour date, I would stick to 1-3 activities interspersed with private time. You don’t want to rush, you want to enjoy every aspect. If you are looking at a weekend away trip or a whole weekend booking, I think the best approach would be to have two days with activities and leave one just for us. There's nothing better than getting up to mischief for two days and then spending the last entangled in the bedsheets sans clothing.
Making the enquiry is exciting, you have no idea how fast my heart beats when I open an email to one. If you struggle to think of things to do or places to go, then let me put you at ease as I am a literal font of ideas. Overflowing with options and wild imaginings, all I would need is for you to let me know the amount of time you are looking for and a where and you can let me do the rest. Be sure to check your emails as it wouldn’t take me long to pull together a range of ideas and send them over to you. Collaboration is the best way to make the extended date as unique and memorable as possible. I want you to leave with a little hop in your step and some unforgettable moments that will linger. Maybe everytime you hear a specific song you’ll remember my laughter in your ear. Or the next time you see an advert for a specific place you’ll see my face as you kissed me there. We may never see one another again in this lifetime but the perfectly executed extended date will leave us both with the memory of the other.
What is there to be avoided you may be thinking. Well expectations and lists are the killer of enjoyment. There’s something inhuman about having an itinerary to sex, almost regimental and soulless. Let things flow naturally, obviously discuss likes and dislikes but when it comes to it, just enjoy it. Feel it, experience it, don’t over think it or approach sex and intimacy like an avon order. (Showing my age a bit there aren’t I). You may also have imagined the date quite thoroughly, you may have read or seen glimpses at other dates the provider has had and shown publicly. Always remember that every encounter is unique, every experience is different. You can’t recreate that which you didn’t actually see. Take your date as your own and put your own flavour on it, infuse it with that which only you can. There is no better date than the one you are creating, it may be more simple, it may not be as extravagant, or it may be completely mind bogglingly extra.. The date between you and I has no comparison as it is ours and in that, it is special, always.
At the root of it, it doesn’t matter what we do or where we go. It doesn’t matter how long or how brief it is, an extended date is an opportunity to connect with someone with zero commitments or expectations. To foster an intimate relationship within a safe bubble of secret freedoms. You can bond, you can explore, you can experience and you can feel. And when it is over you can look on it fondly with no regrets as there is nothing quite as freeing as touching the life force of human nature. Without the need to follow it up, nor the usual requirements of commitment. We can have this, even if just for one night.
